Try Try Again!

I was scared for a long time about going back into nursing. Two years ago I graduated and hit the hospital scene very naive, ready to change the world, I was going to make a difference! In alot of ways it just blew me away. I carried more than I could bear, and when you're bearing weight for someone else who is sick or in pain and placing their trust and life in your hands, its hard to forgive yourself of anything less then perfection. So many times I have rethought my occupation and asked God why in the world he called me into such a profession. I hate nursing but at the same time I can't see myself doing anything but nursing. P.S. No wonderful conclusion will be found here, just some 2:30am honesty... Anyways, I have to believe if I want to leave a mark I've got to get dirty. The alternative is staying comfy and clean and distant from the hurting. As a result of my starting experience at the hospital I've had much anxiety over going back to work. But I must give God praise for a miraculous uprooting of this anxiety. It's gone. Of course I hate interviews and the unknown still but he has healed a place in me that I had sealed up in order to not be hurt or shocked again. He is good and always will make a way if we really seek him in everything. So...

Tonight I applied for a job as a research nurse for clinical trials at Greenville Memorial's ob/gyn department. I am really hoping for this job! If you do, please pray...really. Next in line is working for Heartlife to teach cardiac patients about their conditions and monitor them while teaching them exercise for their conditions. Third in line is the local outpatient surgery center, possibly operating room, possibly pre-surgical assessment, or post-surgical recovery and discharge. 

Here I go again!