May 8, 2008

Love and Logic

I've been advised by so many sources to embrace inconveniences and annoyances in life because these events/relationships are trying to teach you something.

During your first year of teaching you are amazed at the disrespect SOME students will have for boundaries. Ultimately, you will face two primary challenges: students will break your rules flagrantly and THEN they will confront you aggressively.

My initial response was to similarly match if not escalate aggression to maintain control. Interestingly enough when students would be loud and talk over me (which by the way - they still always do) some of the quieter students will say, "Why don't you just tell them to shut up?" or "Why don't you just write a referral?" In my frustration I assumed these comments projected what they had seen other successful teachers practice.

I was wrong.

In the face of boundary testing, especially of the aggressive nature, it is essential that you firmly de-escalate the situation. "Mr. Wong this is BULLS--T". I pause, look at the child in a way that reminds them we are truly not enemies, slowly walk close to them and in a very low tone (so barely anyone else can hear me) I can't accept what you have to say in that tone.

As I get older I love it when Jesus advice works - when it would be a miracle that peace/non-aggression would be the solution and then it is.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have arrived. When judo meets karate, judo wins. Judo redirects energy of others to their own demise. The harder one attack, the harder one falls.

A familiar voice from old.